28 thoughts on “Your Best 2020 Jokes, Please/Open Thread”

    1. Five by five, CA: Awaiting daily affirmation from the right reverend, Big Country, as well as the prophetic word of tfA-t.

  2. That athlete sure has a lot of influence, I don’t know what sportsball game he plays, or which sportball team he is on, you know, Covid 19.

  4. Did ya here about the two guys sitting at a swanky bar, ones crying, trying to get drunk, the others wasted.

    The crying man turns and asks the drunk, excuse me sir, how long does it take for your wife to Cum.

    The drunk turns,and repeats the question, out loud, to confirm he got it right, laughs and says, ” Who Cares”

    Merry Christmas.

    Dirt

  6. There are old bomb makers and bold bomb makers but there are no old bold bomb makers. It was funnier before Christmas just saying.

    We are 24 hours into this and we have NO PATSY yet. Human remains? Monitoring intensifies.

    Does anyone think bomb makers are coming to save them? No?

    Well then get busy patriots, you must become resilient and hardened. Nothing ahead but ill winds.

  7. Everyone is getting all conspiratorial, overthinking about this Nashville bidness. Obviously it’s Christmas, and there was an arrr veee, cousin Eddie’s shitter was full, and sewer gas…

  10. We used to cover farting by coughing now we have to fart so no one knows we are coughing .

  13. Read this a couple od days ago:
    Why do Amish don’t get covid?…
    Because they do not watch TV.

    Anyways… that rv must of had some kind of coned-shaped device inside,
    pointed (wide area) toward that bull-ding….

  14. So,you believe biden won the election but you don’t believe in Santa Claus?!

    Easy instructions on relocating that beautiful women.You wake up in the morning with a woman in your bed and are like WTF!What happened to the beautiful woman I was with last night?!

    1.Go down to your kitchen.

    2.Mix and consume a few strong alcoholic drinks.

    3.Walk back upstairs and Voila!The beautiful woman is back!

  15. The ATF rifled through the family truckster camper and it said…hecho en Michigan on the immaculate mint condition bomb fragments.
    They didn’t have to travel far to inform the FIB as they were busy at the local NASCAR track learning how to work a garage pull with 15 top notch Keystone Clown Agents.
    Agent Shanaynay will lead up the dastardly Reich Wing militia task force with the health czar of Pennsylvania.

  16. If Trump had put his tweets to music on 04 NOV, we could’ve ringed in the new year with a dance-hall remix.

  17. Sorry, no joke here.
    Anyone who has served in the military knows what’s it like to fake overexertion when cranking out pushups, Trumps administration has been no different. Coasting along wanting everyone to see the over achiever, and in reality, did nothing. He still acts like he’s handcuffed, when in reality he could have had dozens of options.
    As if it was planned that way.
    Happy New Year!

    1. bingo

      drumpf has continuously fucked the tradcuckolds, left them hanging, added TRILLION$ more debt, on the weak side of a civil war, and they still think he’s their guy.. SMFH

      teh stooopit et hirtz

      in the end- 300 million “gone gone gone”

      BURN BABY BURN

      tfA-t has never slept better. 🙂

      1. You and SFC Steve Barry called it 4 yrs ago, not much has changed. He should have had Sean Hannity as VP, “any day now, any day now…….”
        Looking at these last 4 yrs, he’d flunk his own TV show.

        Did you notice how much went to Israel AGAIN, as it does every year, you think that will get cut from the budget pkg???

  19. Colorado law requires all lawyers to be buried at a depth of twelve feet.
    Deep down,they are not bad.
    Jan 26 should be a day of remembrance for LaVoy Finnicum. He made some mistakes ,as all men do. He should not have been executed.

  21. How many proud boys does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    None, proud boys screw in hot tubs!

    Get it? Cause they are all homosexuals!
    Only homo’s dress like that.
    FYI, Americans were red white and blue.
    Proudboys were An-Cap colors of Yellow and Black. That isn’t an accident.
    It’s always why the street fights look scripted, and rando’s get left behind to be assaulted.

  22. Perhaps the biggest joke of 2020 is the face mask. Totally useless, annoying as hell & just down right ludicrous. I remember what a woman in Kalifornia said after being told to leave a store for not wearing one. “Does wearing panties prevent a fart from stinking ?”

    Happy New Year Deplorables & Infidels! Ha! Ha! Ha! Just joking. 2021 is going to be just that, a joke.

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